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eine Saite

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One hundred forty days

Imagine just one bomb hitting your house. Just one, one time breaking the roof and part of the wall and it’s so loud you can’t even understand it and the whole place shakes so suddenly you fall off chair or bed or feet and if you’re close to the bombed part you fall almost out of the house because a huge chunk of your house is just      gone, suddenly, everything you were keeping in it, whether pantry or kitchen or bedroom or library - that chunk of your life is ripped away, and if you are very lucky then no family members are killed or trapped underneath. If you are lucky you can still run and head south where they told you to go never mind what is south just go along with everyone else running away from home, from everything you made and kept and loved because it’s better than being bombed and at what point did this become impossible to imagine over here where I live and is this what we mean when we say unimaginable horror, or is it a way of refusing to imagine what has become an undeniable daily reality over there where you live, and we haven’t even talked yet about body parts and blood…


~     ~    ~


And here where we can only imagine

      what is the arrangement of things 

that is right?

       Where is the repository for devotion

‘the sustained one note of obligatory

hope’

      Which gestures can we make with

arms and hands, what facial posture

           will hold this fear that is so 

physically distant yet right with us

now as a threat           how             to say

that which is not mine is mine

        that pain              horror

                   excruciating hope

is with me too

                        as a person in a body

vulnerable to fire, smoke, sharp

           objects flung

                          as if at random

When you are bombed

                           it shakes the ground here

that we thought we could stand on,

           that ground  —       ruptured

when you are bombed             we are all

           rendered more susceptible 

                              to bombing


~    ~    ~


I stumble

               on the nominally

                                                                level ground

of this life

          because                     where                         how

      a child                                         is no child

          the transubstantiation

                           of human            into              target


into debris that must be cleared

           to realize a bleaching,

                                   poisoned dream


If this is dream          and hope to some

         then  how            where             why

human              likeness

          this presence of body mind thought

                            impossible

that we can share


             if you will cover a child

in dirt and rubble in order to say

       your child will live in so called

             freedom?

                                     my throat dries

                                     my fingers crack

             this pen is heavy

words are not 

                                   what I thought


heart shocked to stillness       

[citation from Jorie Graham, the rest written by me (© Tracy Hudson 2024)]

tags: poetry, palestine, grief
Saturday 02.24.24
Posted by Tracy Hudson
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